Here is my film for Christmas, introduced by the one and only Roger A Destroyer.
Hope you like it.
Janet died on 12th October 1996. She was beautiful. She was only eight years old when our father died. My mother was originally a dancer but, after my father's death, she retrained as a hairdresser and got a job at Clifford's Hair Salon in Fetter Lane and so Janet had to look after us when we got home from school and give us tea and put us to bed. We got on very well and often I would chat to her on Sunday mornings when she put on her make up, "Sunday Morning Talks" we called them. I used to listen to Pick of the Pops on the radio and write out the Hit Parade for her. I think I was jealous of her boyfriends because one day, when she was with some guy on a punt on the river in Oxford, I gave her the Hit Parade but she brushed me away very curtly and I was so cross that I screwed up the paper and threw it into the water. I guess that I was being an embarrassing, irritating little shit.
I loved her so much. In the two years before she died, I saw more of her than I would otherwise have done; it was like packing ten years in so, from that point of view, it was a good time. When she died, I experienced depths of emotion that I have never felt before or since. In a peculiar way, I enjoyed it - the "beautiful pain" I call it.
This is a film I made about her fifteen years after her death - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDxR_TQ7Xpw&list=UUnwlP_pdsLN81xU6MClevxg
|Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke|
If you are a human being then this film will speak volumes. It is, quite simply,
a masterpiece. Beautifully acted, intelligently written, sensitively directed
(by Richard Linklater) and with a wonderfully subtle musical score.
It is about what we all are - human beings - sometimes complicated, sometimes
straightforward but always interesting. We are all the same but we are just passing
through and, on the journey, we live and we learn.
If you have seen and enjoyed the previous two films "Before Sunrise" and "Before
Sunset" then you will need no further introduction or recommendation. If you
have not see them before, please try to watch them first but, quite honestly, the films
do stand on their own.
The saga will continue and, of course, we shall all love it in our own way. I shall
say no more except that this is cinema at its very best.
|BOXING by Tom Andrews|
This is another self portrait which sums up how I'm feeling about this bloody disease at the moment. I just couldn't sleep last night because I was shaking, I don't know why. I came down and chatted to Jane who was still up but I felt very emotional. She made us both a Horlicks.I did a shoot on Sunday where I danced for the photographer and I think I overdid it because my hip and knee on my right side were agony about 24 hours later and now, after 4 days, it still hurts but not quite so much. So that hasn't helped.
Other than that, I feel like I am hurtling towards the end and, every so often, I stumble and roll forwards down the hill but, occasionally, I am able to stand up and, for a time, travel at my own pace but the illness is relentless and keeps pushing me along faster and faster and yet, I have all these things that I want to do.
I know that this is not the world's best photograph and in no way am I anywhere near as good as the great photographers who have shot me but I do enjoy self portraiture - it is somehow very comforting. I am not afraid of self discovery as I want to find as many answers about myself as I can before I go.
I am going to stop now and edit yet another film I have made - this is the latest http://youtu.be/gjQfO3w-hVI.